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16. April 2009 02:29
by Rene Pallesen
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Hunter Valley 2009

16. April 2009 02:29 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

hunter valley


This weekend we again drove up to the hunter valley about two hours drive North of Sydney. We left at 7am and met the other guys up there just after 9am.


This time we went a big group of us but only three of us were tasting wine. The others were taking photos.

Click here for more photos

Kim and I have spent a fair amount of time in the Hunter Valley and have a lot of favourite wines in the area. This time we decided to try some new and smaller places that we hadn't been to before. The challenge is still to find a sub $20 bottle of wine that is really good. It is pretty hard...but not impossible.


Click here for more photos

In total we went to 9 vineyards to taske their wines. Some of the favourites this time was Gartelmann (The Wilhelm Shiraz is a good buy) and Peterson Estate (Kim loooved the sparkling desert wine).

For lunch we went to a restaurant called The Verandah. They have a tapas style menu. The food was ok but a bit on the pricey side (but most of the . My favourite place in Hunter is a place called Mojo...but they are only open for dinner.

Click here for more photos

Bimbadgen really let us down this time. They have some really good wines there, but the customer service was appalingly bad! They did not provide any assistance and were very rude (not just limited to one person there). I wanted to buy a couple of their wines but ended up walking away because there was no-one there to help.

6. April 2009 08:17
by Rene Pallesen
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Ethans Birthday 2009

6. April 2009 08:17 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

ethans birthday


This weekend it was Ethans 8th Birthday and his parents had organised a Birthday party for all his friends. As the last couple of years Kim and I was asked if we could facepaint the kids (We are not really good at face painting but the kids really don't care). Most of the kids had some degree of autism so just getting them to stand still while we paint them is a challenge.

The previous two years I was dressed up as a pirat but decided to do something something different this year. I wanted to come dressed as a monster (Ethan likes Monsters) but Kim though that I shouldn't scare the kids and that I should come as a joker instead. We bought a hat and some stripey tights...it looked really funny.



One of the parent though I was a paid helper when we arrived and started issuing me orders regarding that I really should be watching the kids so that they wouldn't injure themselves in the jumping castle that they had hired...he must have found it really unprofessional when I brushed him off ignoring his orders (I have a strong belief that kids should be allowed to be kids and that we in this modern age is too cautious protecting them)...and he must have felt really silly when he realised that I was a member of the family.



The rest of the day was spent playing games with the kids (They had good fun when I started spraying them with water with a water pistol...until I was told by the same parent that I should stop because the jumping castle was getting slippery).

The 'Donkeys Tail' game was a bit of a non-event...all the kids cheated and placed the tail where you would expect the tail to be. All credit to the kids...at least they know where the tail goes on animals.



After the party Kim wanted some alone time with me and we decided to go and watch a movie. There wasn't any good movies on that I wanted to watch so I let Kim decide...and we ended up watching a chick flick.


29. March 2009 09:26
by Rene Pallesen
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Guys and Dolls

29. March 2009 09:26 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

guys and dolls


Dolls are a Necessity...

Kim and I went with a couple of friends to Capitol Theatre to see Guys and Dolls. This was my christmas present from Kim ('give me experiences instead of objects').


It was really good...I think I prefer the lightheartedness of musicals to Operas. Capitol Theatre is one of the great theatres in Sydney. In inside decor is old and glamourous. The Dancing and the singing in the show was really good.




Poor guys...the Dolls seem to have the upper hand in this story.


In one of the roles was Kenny...from a famous Australian movie 'Kenny'. I have no idea what his real name is.

15. March 2009 10:56
by Rene Pallesen
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Climbing at Blue Bell (The Shire)

15. March 2009 10:56 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

climbing at blue bell the shire


This weekend Andy and I decided to explore a new climbing area in the Sydney Area (We are running out of places to climb within Sydney and sometime Sydney is too long a drive).

This time we decided on a small area called Blue Bell in the Southern part of Sydney in the Heathcote National Park.

Once we arrived we had to find the access to the cliffs. The carpark is almost on the top of the cliffs near houses, but the area doesn't get a lot of traffic so there is no good tracks. Eventually we found our way down with some a lot of bush bashing.

We decided to start on a couple of easier climbs on the Mini Wall where there was some grade 16 climbs (and 10/11's). They were far from being grade 16. The first two climbs (Anika 16 and Nathan 16) were harder than what they were graded at. Both Andy and I were finding it hard and agreed that the climbing felt more like a 18 or 19...and we were both thinking "what the fu.. is wrong there!". We then looked at who had graded the climbs and it turned out to be the same person a Jason Lammers. We decided that this may be one very dangerous Wanker and decided to take other climbs that he'd graded with caution (Next day I found another website describing the climb as being a lot harder...this guy graded it as a 6a = 19).

After this we moved to the main wall and did another climb at the same grade (Sparky 16) and this turned out to be really nice a cruisy and this would potentially be a good lear-to-lead climb for someone who is comfortable in the gym.

Blue Bell Main Wall

After this we moved onto a bit harder climb (Heathcote 18) graded by the same idiot Jason Lammers. Someone who is only just comfortable at this grade would be in real trouble here. The top move is really delicate; in fact so delicate that Andy were totally unable to complete the move and bailed after a a number of attempts (and a lot of falls).
I then tried the climb and eventually after a couple of falls managed to complete the move...and boy that is really balancy. You hand on to this slobing groove and then do a high stepup. you then balance your left hand up the wall until you reach a good hold up very high (as Andy put it: "A typical Rene move"). I would grade it as a 21 move...three grades harder that the wanker graded it.

We had a look at the climb next to it (Screaming Cookatoos 18) and decided to do this on a top rope given that the top move looked dubious and that we hadn't had much luck with grades.
Lucky that because the top move it really reachy and fairly thin. It would have taken a lot of commitment and knowing exactly where the only good hold is (which isn't great) to be able to complete it and then you still have to put a plate on the carrot bolt and clip it from this position before moving to the anchor. They really should have put a ring bolt here and they could have put the bolt a bit lover so it could be clipped from below protecting this move better.

By the way this area is a weird mix of Ring bolts, fixed hangers, ringbolts, gear, chain anchors, ring bolt anchors and topouts....great job guys!!! Anyway we had a really good day but we didn't dare try any of the many 19, 20, 21's (which is my comfortable lead limit) in the area as most of them were graded by the same guy. Without including these climbs the area is too small to return to in the near future.

28. February 2009 08:13
by Rene Pallesen
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Magic Flute Opera

28. February 2009 08:13 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

magic flute opera


Instead of a christmas present Kim gave me tickets for the opera. This year for the Magic Flute by Mozart.

Magic Flute


It was different from most of the other operas I've seen in that no-one dies in it and it wasn't one of this big tragegies.

She had gotten us some good seats with a good view of the stage...and we had a really nice evening out.

23. February 2009 08:18
by Rene Pallesen
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Ceiling Insulation

23. February 2009 08:18 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

ceiling insulation


The NSW government currently provides a rebate for anyone insulating their house ceilings.I had already considered doing it anyway as it does cool down the house during the summer and keeps it slightly warmer during the winter time.

The Insulated Ceiling

So I spent 5-6 evenings crawling around the roof cavity spreading out the insulation bats. Some of the ceiling was really hard to get to.


14. February 2009 08:02
by Rene Pallesen
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Valentines Day

14. February 2009 08:02 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

valentines day


What can I say? I don't like going out on Valentines Day, but I still enjoy a romantic evening out...so this year we decided to celebrate Valentines day evening before (And I gave Kim flowers the day before that...and they were so fresh that they kept for two weeks). We went to a nice little restaurant at Balmoral Beach called the Watermark.

Valentines Day

The food was really nice, the scenery was really nice (slight drizzle), the Wine was fantastic (Canonbah Shiraz 'Drought Reserve' 2004)...and lastly my beautiful wife was gorgeous as always.

5. February 2009 08:35
by Rene Pallesen
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Summer

5. February 2009 08:35 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

summer


Yeah...summer in Sydney. We have fantastic beaches here in Sydney and unfortunately we don't use them enough (Water is too cold). We did however manage to get to Maroubra beach a couple of afternoons this summer.

Maroubra Beach

31. January 2009 08:24
by Rene Pallesen
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Opera in the Domain

31. January 2009 08:24 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

opera in the domain


Every year in Januar and February there is a big festival on in Sydney with different entertainment provided for free by the city and different sponsors. It is hard to make time to see everything, but we did have time to go and see the the Opera in the domain.

Opera in the Domain

We went there with Berry and his wife and had a nice evening.

Berry and his wife



26. January 2009 06:51
by Rene Pallesen
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Climbing Dam Cliffs Blue Mountains

26. January 2009 06:51 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

climbing dam cliffs blue mountains


This weekend Andy and I were supposed to have been going to Nowra to climb Saturday and Sunday, but the Australian weather dictated otherwise with 42 degrees in the shade Saturday.

Instead we changed the plans and went to Dams Cliffs in the Blue Mountains Sunday. This area is easily accessible, mainly in the shade and had got some great moderately graded climbs.

This was great as May also could join us. She had a really uncomfortable climb in Nowra with some friends some months ago and was afraid of getting back leading climbs (from her own words she was afraid to die). Nowra cen be very different and intimidating to someone going there the first time. We had a 7.30am start and she was half asleep when we picked her up and slept most of the way in the car.

When we got to the cliffs we decided to start on an easy warmup called"The Sisters of Fatima 16" and we asked May to do the first lead and she did a really good job. After this she seemed to have gotten over her fear.

Click here to see more climbing photos

We then moved over to a more moderate climb called "Shadow of the Goat 19" where I did the first lead...pleasant enough. We continued to "Truancy Officer 20" which I also led but which we decided was far easier (probably a 17).

After this we decided to stay in the 20+ territory and moved to a climb called "Vasco Pyjama 22" and Andy too the first lead.

Click here to see more climbing photos

At the second bolt he reached the Crux (The most difficult section on a climb) and after a number of tries coming off every time he bailed. When he got down he said "This climb has got Rene written all over it, it is a move that is in your territory!', so I was up next. I got up to the same section, and had a look at it a saw 2-3 possible ways through the section, but decided to go for a very long and very balancy reach first and managed to stick the top hold in the first attempt without falling off.

After this section the rest of the climb was easy. Both and and May then toproped the same climb (This is where the rope has already been placed on the top of the climb...which I had just done) and may cruised through the same section, but Andy still struggled. I honestly think that despite it being a long reach this is one of those climbs where it is an advantage being short.

After this we could decided what to do next. I was keen on doing another climb next to it called "Friendly Fire 22" but was worried about getting stuck half way up and not being able to clean it. One of the women climbing in one of the other groups said that if I'd just climb the previous one then this would be a lot easier (Looked a lot harder to me) so I decided to give it a go and lead it.

I was glad that I did, because the section that looked really difficult from the ground turned out to be sustained but now massively difficult once I got up there...this just proved that you should just jump on any climb that looks remotely climbable and is well protected regardless of its grade...they are just subjective numbers anyway.

After this we decided it was time to head back to the Big Smoke even though we were still strong enough to do another climb....it was getting late!


Download video of Rene Climbing at Dam Cliffs
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17. November 2008 12:40
by Rene Pallesen
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Wedding

17. November 2008 12:40 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

wedding


On Sunday the 16th November 2008 I got married to Kim. It was a fantastic day and thanks to family and friends joining us making this a very memorable day.


My day started out (Kims started much earlier) in the morning with my Best Man (Andy) as well as a number of other friends coming over to my house picking up trays, organising ribbons on cars and picking up supplies for the wedding ceremony.

Kim had earlier in the morning left the house to go to her dads place to get dressed and have hair and makeup done.

Once we got the call saying that she was ready we drove over to her dads place and on the way there we were stopped by the police who insisted on breath testing us...sorry guys you were out too early, we hadn't started drinking yet.

At Kims place I had to bribe my way in through the door before they would let me in...all part of the tradition.

Click here to see more photos

Once I was let in my friends carried the trays of fruit, wine and noodles upstairs and this was the first time I saw Kim looking absolutely gorgeous in her wedding dress.
We then started the Tea Ceremony where we first had to pay respect to the elders by burning incense and then serve tea to the parents. In return they would then present us with red envelopes containing money and Kim's dad also gave Kim an old bracelet and ring that used to belong to her mum.

Click here to see more photos

After the Tea ceremony I drove down to La Perouse where the wedding ceremony was going to take place. We were a bit early so they were still getting ready. The wind was really strong so the garden arch needed wires to stay in place etc.

Once all the guests has arrived (around 40-50) Kim arrived in Nancys car with her bridesmaid (Natalie) and the ceremony could begin.

Click here for more photos

Kim and I had decided and written most of the ceremony ourselves and the celebrant presented it beautifully (and very loud).

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After the ceremony we had some drinks and snacks with out guests and then took pictures for the next couple of hours around La Perouse and Centenial Park.

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Later in the afternoon we went back to our house to relax and freshen up for an hour until we then went to the Reception.

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We had invited 80 guests and they all arrived (more or less). People were greated out the front where they were served canabes and drinks and there was a pianist playing a piano.

People were then seated and once everyone were at the tables the bridal party was introduced.

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After the entrees My dad and Andy held their speeches (both very good and unfortunately mostly true) and after the main courses it was the turn of KC and myself.

To everyones surprise we had arranged entertainment during the evening in the form of some drummers. Everyone was given a drum and had to participate in the drumming.

Click here to see more photos

This also involved us dancing as part of the entertainment.

This was eventually followed by us cutting the wedding cake (a tower of cupcakes) a then dance the bridal walz.


Click here to see more photos

Click here to see more photos

Kim had changed to a more practical dress for the bridal walz and she looked absolutely stunning in it. Because I'd been sunburnt during the day my face almost matched the dress.


Clieck here to see more photos

15. November 2008 12:26
by Rene Pallesen
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Moved into the new house

15. November 2008 12:26 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

moved into the new house


End of October we moved settled and moved into the new house. Not without a bit of of drama as the previous owner wasn't out of the house at settlement...but by the end of the day she was fortunately gone.

She was living there with three little boys (terrorists), so there was a number of smaller things that had been neglected and really needed some attention and there were a number of flaws around the place that needed fixing (it seems that the solution to every problem for the previous owners was silicone glue).

Most of this is under control now thanks to my dad helping out while here for the wedding (see next posting). Both Kim and I have now moved all our things and I've put kim in charge of selecting what colours she would like the walls to be downstairs before we go out and buy furniture.

We also need to get new lights downstairs as the ones there heat up and switch themselves off (cheap crap) so I may just as well do the ceiling now that I am at it.

15. November 2008 02:35
by Rene Pallesen
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My Dad in Sydney

15. November 2008 02:35 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

my dad in sydney


My dad was in Sydney for our wedding and arrived on the 5th November just in time for us to also celebrate his birthday (We took him to his favourite steak house to get his favourite T-bone steak).

It was great to have him here for the wedding as it would have been empty to not have any family members from my side at the wedding. It was also really sad that my mum couldn't come.

We had just moved into the house week before so everything was still messy and there was a lot of things that needed fixing on the house. My dad was really helpful helping me out with a lot of the thing I'd never done before such as replacing tiles in the bathroom. He also changed the locks, fixed lights, painted walls, fixed doors, leaking taps etc.

It gave us something to do together which was great for bonding. I just wish he'd been there a bit longer...but maybe I can convince him to come back to help me build a pergola.

We also managed to do a bit of sightseeing around Sydney and it was great that he got a chance to meet Kims family.



The wedding was something different for him and I think that he was pretty frustrated that he didn't know what the asian customs were (not a typical Danish wedding).

He did give a really good speech at the wedding and I'm sorry to say that everything he said is true (although not everything was accurate).

23. September 2008 08:51
by Rene Pallesen
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Climbing Barrenjoey

23. September 2008 08:51 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

climbing barrenjoey


This weekend we went up to Barrenjoey...a beautiful day. It was 31 degrees in Sydney but this time of the year the rocks here are mostly in the shade all day and there was a nice sea breeze running through the area.

We started with a couple of nice warm-ups and then moved onto one of my test pieces "Pillar of Mordor (19)". It is thin and sustained and really not very well protected so I have always back off leading it. Both Phil and I did lead it although not completely clean.

After this we did "Mescalito (19)" which is one of my favourite climbs there. Phil placed a cam in one of the breaks and it fell out and dropped down to the next bolt...fortunately he carried another cam to put in the break and eventually got up to the next bolt and through the climb.

The day was almost over and I had to go to the airport but Phil had his eyes on this climb "...Cab Sav (19)". The bottom bit of the climb is all protected by cams and the top bit is really thin and pumpy. Phil got up past the natural gear and clipped the first bolt. He then moved on and was struggling when clipping the second bolt but eventually got it. He then moved to the thirt and last bolt on the climb and as he moved up his foot caught the quickdraw and without him noticing the boltplate came off the bolt (He had clipped the botlplate upside down). He kept climbing up and got up to the third bolt, but because the previous bolt had fallen off it would have been a ground fall if he had fallen off. Phil was really struggling clipping it but we were so relieved on the ground once he did.

That was a really close one and it is the second time I've seen someone clip those types of plates wrong...bloody dangerous.

17. September 2008 02:42
by Rene Pallesen
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Yeeeaaahhh - Bought a house

17. September 2008 02:42 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

Bought a house


We have bought a house now. We have signed the contract from our part and paid the deposit and our solicitor has received the signed contract from the Vendor. The property has now finally been pulled off the market by the real estate agent (that idiot) and we are looking at moving into the new place in mid/late October (before 24th October). Now we just need to go through all the mortgage application documents which if anything like last time I applied for a home load will be a lot of bureaucracy filling out triplicates, getting copies certified by rocket scientists (whom you have known for at least 40 years and who have worked in the industry since the Apollo program).


The Lounge Room...we'll paint the walls

This will be perfect as it means that Kim and I will have something to live in after the wedding (The current apartment is not really suitable and I would like Kim to feel like it is her home as well).The place is in Botany in the Eastern Suburbs and it is very close to Kim's family (about a 200 meter walk to one of her sisters and 5 minutes drive from her dad). And more importantly it is reasonably close to the city (10km) and away from the flight path of the airport.


We don't have much furniture so the place will be a bit empty in the beginning until we get the essentials. Kims sister has already donated us a dining table but we need to get items such as a bed and a washing machine immediately and then also items such as a sofa, entertainment unit etc.


It is a terrace house and has got the potential to do some really nice things to it. It is spacious on the inside and has got a small backyard that doesn't require too much maintenance. There is a bit of painting and maintenance that needs to be done immediately to the outdoor areas but nothing that cannot be managed. I am also sure that Kim would like have some painting done internally. My dad will arrive just after we have moved in so I am sure he won't get bored while here.


The floor plan

This Torrens title oversized terrace offers an ease of living combined with great design features spread over three very generous levels. Be immediately impressed by the flawless presentation and the impeccable renovation of this striking tri-level terrace. Enjoying an elevated position.
A handy convenient setting with ample street parking. Generous living with separate formal and casual areas. Tranquil north facing backyard and outdoor entertaining. Modern kitchen with breakfast bar stainless steel appliances. Upstairs bedrooms with built-ins, two with private balconies. Well appointed for care free modern living. Intelligently designed to maximise space and light. Dressed in fresh contemporary tones and polished floors
Automatic garage for two cars with internal access. Easy walk to local parks, schools, shops and transport


If you read the score further down in this blog, then you will know that the score now is 4 out of 5...just the wedding to complete to get 5 big events done within the same 6 months timeframe.


26. August 2008 02:03
by Rene Pallesen
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Climbing at Berowra

26. August 2008 02:03 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

climbing at berowra


This weekend we went climbing up at Berowra (northern part of Sydney). It has been raining a lot and been very cold lately, but this day was sunny and very pleasant so no need for the down jacket and the gloved that I had brought with me.

Andy had just bought a new HD video camera and was keen to try it out and he got some really good footage og me climbing as well as Phil falling. Click here to see video


I actually had a really bad day climbing. I think work is stressing me out at the moment and one one of the first few climbs I freaked out when I got to a section with only slopers as hand holds (if you see the video then it was at the section where Phil shouts "YES!"). I was pretty upset when it happened and I was unable to get back into the right headspace.

The rest of the afternoon I was doing top ropes but had blown my strength and self esteem.




7. August 2008 07:10
by Rene Pallesen
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Brisbane

7. August 2008 07:10 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

brisbane


Last week I was in Brisbane for some SharePoint training for the company. It was four days of intensive training but it was worth it and it was nice going up north where it is a bit warmer than here in Sydney at the moment.

I flew up there Tuesday morning leaving home at 5am to catch a 6am flight. It was the morning after my Birthday so Kim and I decided to just have a quiet evening and then celebrate some other time (Kim is going to take me to a nice restaurant).

Brisbane Bridge

I found a couple of good restaurants in Brisbane and one night I had Moreton Bay Bugs (Look like a giant cockroach). I also went for a walk to Kangaroo Point which is a big climbing area along the river in Brisbane. It is all lit up and actually looks like good climbing. I was surprised to find people climbing at night and also surprised to find that almost everyone was toproping rather than lead climbing (Everything is nicely bolted so there really is no excuse).

4. August 2008 05:00
by Rene Pallesen
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Skiing - Snowy Mountains

4. August 2008 05:00 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

skiing snowy mountains


This year we again went skiing on the weekend closest to my birthday. We tried to get the same house as we did last year, but unfortunately it was already booked so we had to settle for an apartment. This did mean that we only had two bedrooms instead of three so it was only Soeren and Nui (and Freja) and Kim and I staying there. Kims ex-colleague Mark had to settle with staying at a caravan park.

The first day Soeren and I drove up to Perisher in my new car (first long trip in it) while the girls did their own thing. When we got back late afternoon after a whole day of skiing they had organised all the ingredients for a nice BBQ and marinated all the meat…yummy. Mark came over for dinner with Daniel and we had a nice evening with a couple of bottles of wine.

Next morning we got a late start (it took the other guys a bit of time to get ready) and we went to hire some additional gear for the girls to go skiing as well. This time we went to Thredbo which is much better in terms of variation of the runs and also the length. The longest run there is 3.7 kilometers. The girls took an instructor class (I think it is better if Kim gets an instructor by herself next time as she will get more attention).

Thredbo

It was a fairly short skiing day as we finished at three and then went on our way to the 5+ hour drive back to Sydney. Next year I think I'll take a lesson as well...I am getting pretty good at it now, but just need a few pointers to get even better especially at black runs and moguls.

21. July 2008 07:45
by Rene Pallesen
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New Car

21. July 2008 07:45 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

new car


About two months ago a crashed and wrote off my old car...pretty silly but what can you do. Fortunately it was old and was already starting to cause problems and cost me a lot in repairs. Kim had already hinting that maybe it was time to get a new car and that the car was trying to tell me something.
The car was 11 years, the engine was leaking every fluid imaginable and the gearbox was slipping and there was rust developing so the timing to get a new car was pretty good.

The insurance paid me a good price for the old car...a lot more than I would have received if I had used it as a tradein to buy a new one.

After chasing around the city for a second hand car...amongst which there were some pretty dodgy deals the choice came down to either buy an 6 months old ex-rental or a new one. There was a $4000 difference and by the end of the day the decision came down to us needing that money once we buy a property so I decided to get the ex-rental. It is a nice blueish gray (Aztec Blue) Toyota Corolla. It will have its first test run this weekend when we go down to the snow in it.

My new car


Kim and I could probably have gotten by with just one car, but hers is too small to fit golf gear, ski & climbing gear etc. into and the new car is harder for her to drive because of the size...so for now we'll have two cars.


The score so far is:

Kim new job: Done
Rene new job: Done
New car: Done
Wedding: Pending
House: Pending


3 out of 5 aint bad

15. July 2008 12:17
by Rene Pallesen
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My Mums hardship

15. July 2008 12:17 by Rene Pallesen | 0 Comments

my mum moving out


Some years back my mum had a stroke while my parents were traveling in Thailand. This left totally paralysed in the left side of her body and she has been bound to a wheelchair ever since.

The stroke was most likely caused by heavy smoking and drinking and in general an unhealthy lifestyle.

This all happened a few years after my parents retired and were planning to spend most of the winters traveling in warmer countries. They have always been traveling a lot and never liked the winters in Denmark.
The realisation after the stroke for my parents was that suddenly those dreams were burst and that my mum would need constant care. My dad negotiated with the council that they would look after her one week a month which left my dad with some time to realise some of his dreams and at leaft do some traveling and at the same time provide some relief from looking after mum. It has been a hard blow to my mum and it is still very hard for her to accept that she will be bound to a wheelchair and dependent on other people for simple tasks such as going to the toilet, washing and getting dressed.


My mum some time ago discovered that some of the traveling my dad had done hadn't taken place alone but with an old female school friend (How intimate they were/are I don't know and don't care) but obviously my mum got very hurt and set the ultimatum that either he stops seeing her or she moves out. My dad said that he didn't want to stop seeing her and that he would still keep looking after my mum except for that one week every month.


It has now come to the point where my mum has found an apartment in a care facility and it going to move there this month. I am sure that it hurts a lot for her to move out.

Another blow has been that I am getting married in a few months time and that it is not possible for her to attend my wedding but that my dad is. It will be really hard for her on the day itself and I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for her or somehow allow her to attend.


So how do I feel about this? I am disappointed, angry and understanding at the same time. I am angry at my mum because she insisted smoking and drinking the way she did and tat this caused a stroke.

I am angry at my dad that he's found someone else and that is causing my mum to move out...she is the one totally loosing out. I am disappointed that their marriage and thereby also my family is breaking up.

I also understand why my dad has been longing for some company on different level and at the same time I also understand why my mum is so hurt about it. I am hurt because I know that my mum needs some support but that I am so far away but at the same time my life is here and I am about to get married here.I just hope that she understands that my happiness is dependent on me staying here. Especially since the stupid danish immigration laws will prevent me from moving back to Denmark with my future wife.


I am also hurt because my parents during the last decade has been through so much hardship first with my brother, then with the stroke and now with all this.


This is certainly a year of change...